Fighting Spirit

I wrote a a few words to say for mom's funeral this past Wed, like I did for Dad's funeral back in July. Writing is the one thing that has always helped me put my thoughts together and feel better, and I want to share my thoughts on mom...

Fighting Spirit

Thank you everyone for coming today. There’s nothing more healing in times of sorrow than love shared by friends and family.

To think of someone’s life ending at just 61 years feels far too short and a tragedy. In so many ways the loss is a tragedy to many of us, but 61 years is also an incredible blessing. As many of you know, Mary was Bev and Gerry’s first born child, and she arrived much to early for the doctors to think she had any chance of survival. It was 1947, and she came into this world weighing just over 3lbs. She was baptized right in the hospital and in a way, given her “last rites” and handed back to her grief-stricken parents to say good-bye.

Obviously we know that is not how the story of her life ended. She not only lived, but she thrived and went on to touch the lives of all of us here today. In perspective, 61 years doesn’t seem like such a tragedy.

Mom has, from the very beginning, always had a fighting spirit. Some may have considered her a bit stubborn at times. I can tell you I owe my life to that stubborn fighting spirit of hers. When she was pregnant with me, she started to bleed heavily and was told by the doctors that she would miscarry. For six straight months she stayed on complete bed-rest, fighting to keep the baby that her body was trying to reject, while at the same time trying to care for her 4 year old son. Things got so bad that she even suffered a mild stroke and other ailments, but she still kept fighting for her baby… and that’s why I stand here today, thanks to her amazing spirit.

Of course, she never did let me forget the pain and agony she went through for me…

I was just 15 years old when mom was first diagnosed with stage II breast cancer at the young age of 42. Those were very scary times, especially when her initial liver enzyme tests also came back with concerning numbers, and her prognosis was appearing rather grim. When we later learned that the liver test was a false positive. Her fighting spirit to live came back stronger than ever! After suffering through a mastectomy, the doctors told her that it was her choice whether or not to continue with therapy. To her there was no choice as she insisted on fighting the cancer with all her strength! She fought through the weakness, nausea, hair loss and other side effects of chemo and radiation to be certain she destroyed every last cancer cell in her body. She told me she had a follow-up appointment just this year where her cancer scans remained clear to this day.

Sometimes it takes life’s darkest moments for the light of love to come shining through. It was at this time when she and John came together and were married here in this chapel in 1993. There’s no question that being with John was what gave mom a reason to keep fighting as her body weakened in recent years. The past year she has been unable to even leave home without a great deal of assistance, she never complained because home was where the love of her life was, and the only place she really wanted to be.

Unfortunately, her heart finally gave out on Friday and she finally lost her fight, but I feel blessed to have had mom around as long as we did. She was able to walk with me down the aisle when I was married, and she was right there with me during the birth of my first child. Rarely a week has gone by when we haven’t spoken for an hour or more on the phone in the past 5 years.

I hope everyone here today can reflect on how blessed we have been to have had mom in our lives, and let that help ease the sorrow of loosing her so young. I know it’s a bit of a cliché, but her spirit does continue to live within all of us that she touched, and will continue to live in the generations that follow.